Reflection by Hope House resident, Sara Haines
A few weeks ago, I returned from work saltier that a potato chip (and I mean the regular kind, no reduced sodium here). I threw a nice pity party for myself, stewing over all my inadequacies at work. I dressed for a run, even though I knew the endorphins would improve my mood. Really, having decent running shoes and good health is so rough, especially on breezy summer days of 75 degrees. I had it hard.
Running in this neighborhood at 6pm is unadvisable so I ran laps in the park. By lap two I was still salty, now sweaty, and feeling like an idiot as I ran in circles. I tripped over sod several times trying not to interrupt the soccer spectators. This little park wasn’t good enough, not compared to other trails and paths I’ve run on. Just like how I wasn’t doing good enough at work as I compared myself to co-workers and other great people I know.
Then as I run past some people, I overhear, “I’m collectin child support from you and you don’t know me? Whateva.” Somehow that comment pierced my self-centeredness and comparison. And like that, honest reality broke up my pity-party. Maybe she was joking. It didn’t seem like it. I started looking up as I ran. Some people smiled back, while others looked away. “All who try to save their life will lose it. But those who lose their life for my sake, will find it.” The Holy Spirit reminded me in that moment that I moved to BOTY asking God to shed me of my selfishness, shatter my comfort zone, and break my hardness of heart.
In this humid, balmy weather, I am thinking about that day. It really was beautiful out, and I ran two miles.